Thank God You're Gone

We were an accident waiting to happen, like jumping off a cliff. It was a wonderful idea to begin with. First there is the lift off. Propelling yourself through the air, staying suspended in the air, floating. Next comes that wonderful sensation, like flying. It's so beautiful that you don't think about the fact that you are falling, just flying. Then you wake up and realize "Dear God, I'm falling." But it doesn't bother you much.  Finally you see the ground and you fully register that you are going to hit the ground, you understand the pain, and you know its coming. Lastly you hit the ground. You finally feel that pain that you have been ignoring; you see all the crap you had to put up with.

Now comes the hard part. Picking yourself up and starting over. I keep getting up but every time I see you, or even think of you I trip, stumble, and fall. It kills me. I want this pain to end, but there is no hospital in sight. I hate this, I hate the reason you left, but I can't bring myself to hate you. I want to forget. I just want to find a nepenthe from the memories. From every sweet moment. From every funny joke. From it all. I'm lost without you. You were a huge part of my life; with you gone…I don't know what to do with myself. It's horrible, the worst form of torture. So I hide behind an obnoxious, bubbly façade.

                                      Time Passes

It's been almost a year and I cannot believe I ever thought you were good enough for me. I may be "hard to handle" but I am better than you. Now when I see you there is no dull pain, no tugged heart string, there's nothing. I feel free to do what I want. I feel so much lighter, even happier! I can't begin to understand why I even got involved with a fool like you. So this is my goodbye to everything. To all your stupid jokes. To all those awkward moments. To desperately trying to comprehend emotions. Goodbye and good ridence! Thank God you're gone!